stay in school. don’t do drugs. (part 2)
when i volunteered to speak at my kids’ school for career day, i thought it’d be a simple affair. ya know…show up to class, hang out with a bunch of firemen and livestock inseminators, wait my turn, then speak for a few minutes about how flippin’ sweet it is to make video games for a living. i filled out the innocent looking form the kids brought home (name, job title, that’s about it) and sent it back to school without much thought.
a week later i get a very-nearly giddy phone call from a young fella at the school…
“mister derrick?”
mm hm.
“says here you do music and sound effects for video games, is that right?”
mm hm.
“are you still willing to participate in our career day? cuz when we saw this on the list, we were like, ‘we have *got* to get this guy…the kids will love it!’ so…can you do it?”
sure.
“great! that’s great! okay…here’s the deal. we’ll have you come in around 11:30 and get set up. we’ve got a laptop, a tv & dvd player, any kind of multimedia stuff you might need. you’ve got 25 minutes with each class…”
say what…?
“…and we’ll rotate all the third grade classes through your room through the afternoon, as they move from one parent to another. so let’s see…that’d be six presenations, at about 25 minutes each, with 5 minutes for changeover…we should have you out of there by about 3pm.”
say WHAT…?
“again, thanks very much for doing this. i think the kids are going to eat it up!”
ulp. will the kids eat up the sight and smell of a middle-aged geek with a fear of public speaking sweating through his hipper-than-thou threadless tee? will the kids start throwing rubber erasers and safety scissors when they realize i didn’t have anything to do with their favorite xbox / wii / ps3 title? will they glaze over when i delve into the complexities of scaling PvE audio feedback for endgame PvP?
i’ve previously touched on my prowess as a public speaker in these pages. the fact that the audience this time around is a bunch of nine-year-olds might make it even worse…when i slip up and start muttering “oh, horsecock” under my breath. and whomever said “just picture your audience naked” was never in a situation like this. or has since been neutered and is currently serving time.
stay tuned for part three. hoo boy.
